I must apologise for the delay in posting but yesterday was a very hectic day. Tamra was in good spirits when she woke up yesterday. She was very groggy as usual but was able to get a small amount of fluids in her when the CNA came to visit. She took my moms vital signs and they all seemed normal considering the circumstances.
She slept into the afternoon and then woke up for a while. It was then that we asked her if she would like to try and get into her wheelchair and go outside for a bit because it was actually warm and sunny down here. She said she would like that so with the help of Bart, Misty, Pennie and myself we got her up and covered in blankets and got her outside.
She LOVED to feel the sun on her face and we took some photos of us all outside. I unfortunately left the cable to hook my camera to the computer at home so i cant share those with you now. She was out there for at least an hour and had some juice and a few grapes. She started to get sleepy so we took her back inside and got her back down in bed without too much pain.
Before i go on i should mention that Tamra has been taking a anti-anxiety medication to help be calm and not be so worried about what is to come for her. Unfortunately when this mixes with the Morphine she is taking it knocks her out for great periods of time and makes her even more groggy when she is awake. After talking with Bart, Shane, and Misty we thought we might try not giving her as much so she might have more energy when she is able to be awake.
Well about 8 or so Tamra started to wake up and wanted to sit up for a bit. We got her up and were doing the normal things we do when she is up like asking if she wanted or needed anything like water, juice, food ect. She seemed to start get quite agitated with us at this point and thought we were out to harm her. This is normal with people in her state and we have been warned this might happen by her hospice workers.
This escalated to a point that Bart had to hold her down in fear that she may harm herself. We do the best we can to try and convince her that we are here to help her and nothing else but it's hard to calm her when she won't listen and we cant force her to take her anti-anxiety medication. She did calm a little bit when we got Misty on the phone and i was able to get a hold of her morphine pump button and give her a bit more.
She was calm for a little while longer and then she started up all over again. We think she hears things in passing and when she is in this state they come to her mind. An example of this is that we were talking to Jack about a new space heater Bart got him in the kitchen (a fair distance for my moms room) and we wanted to make sure he kept it far enough from the wall as to not start a fire. Well Tamra must have hear the word fire and while in this state she thought the house was on fire and she was going to get burned and we were not going to get her out.
It's really hard for us to see Tamra this way. We know that she's not in her right mind when this happens but it's still tough on all of us. This is not the woman we all know and so we lean on that thought. After a bit she calmed down thanks in large part to Pennie speaking softly to her about small things like Christmas lights and a new temple being built while holding her hand. It seemed to soothe her so much that after a while our Tamra came back and we were able to get her to take the anti-anxiety medication.
After about 20 minutes or so she was wanting to give everyone around her kisses and told us how sorry she was. We are not sure if she is sorry about the last episode she had or if she is sorry that we have to take care of her. She told us all that she loved us and it was a wonderful thing. She shortly after drifted off to sleep and was calm most of the night according to Bart who has been sleeping on the floor in her room.
After last nights episodes we have decided that it is probably best that we just continue to give her the previous dose of anti-anxiety medicine 3 times a day just to keep her calm. We know that this will make her less alert and she will probably sleep more but we are afraid she will try and get up and hurt herself or remove her IV if we don't. We just want her to be at peace as much as humanly possible. We made a promise to her in the beginning that we would try and keep her out of pain and her pain spikes when she anxious so this is the route we are taking.
As for today. Bart and Shane were here when the CNA came this morning and they were able to get her into the shower for a quick bath which is always nice. They got her back into bed without too much pain and she has been sleeping ever since. We all hope that in her time left she will be able to be at peace in her mind and know that we are all here to just love her and care for her.
I love you mom...sparkle, sparkle, sparkle, meow, meow, meow.
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Tamra Juretich Tapp
Tamra Juretich Tapp
Our loving, wife, mother & grandmother age 67 passed away on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at home after a brief battle with Pancreatic Cancer.
She was born July 16th, 1941 in Murray Utah to Matt & Claudia Juretich and later married Jackie Thomas Tapp February 20th, 1960 in Coalville Utah.
Tamra began high school at West High and later graduated from Jordan High in 1959.
She started dancing at the age of 3, was a member of the Jordan High Dance Company with her best friend Penny Walker and later preformed on the Ted Mack show as a beautiful gifted young woman. As a young mother she taught ballet, tap, jazz and modern dance in the basement of her home on Coventry Lane and had a positive influence on the children she taught.
Tamra loved her time serving in the Young Women’s program of the Church. Her greatest joy was teaching and laughing with the Young Women she served. She especially had fond memories as Stake camp director while living in Silver Reef, Utah.
Tamra enjoyed working with her friends at Sunfirst Bank in Hurricane and St. George Utah, where she was always the life of the party. She especially enjoyed working alongside Mont Humphries who she considered one of her closest friends.
Most of all Tamra loved her children, grand children and her husband Jack of 48 years and will miss them dearly!
Tamra’s catch phrase throughout her life was “have a nice day and smile all the way” and loved anything that was bright and sparkly. She was always thinking of others and had the innate ability to make others feel comfortable around her.
Instead of flowers Tamra has requested that you provide an act of kindness for someone in need.
Thank you to the staff at Intermountain Healthcare and Rocky Mountain Healthcare who assisted with her care. Specifically we would like to thank her nurse Julie and CNA Sally who took such good care of her during the end of her earthly life.
Our loving, wife, mother & grandmother age 67 passed away on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at home after a brief battle with Pancreatic Cancer.
She was born July 16th, 1941 in Murray Utah to Matt & Claudia Juretich and later married Jackie Thomas Tapp February 20th, 1960 in Coalville Utah.
Tamra began high school at West High and later graduated from Jordan High in 1959.
She started dancing at the age of 3, was a member of the Jordan High Dance Company with her best friend Penny Walker and later preformed on the Ted Mack show as a beautiful gifted young woman. As a young mother she taught ballet, tap, jazz and modern dance in the basement of her home on Coventry Lane and had a positive influence on the children she taught.
Tamra loved her time serving in the Young Women’s program of the Church. Her greatest joy was teaching and laughing with the Young Women she served. She especially had fond memories as Stake camp director while living in Silver Reef, Utah.
Tamra enjoyed working with her friends at Sunfirst Bank in Hurricane and St. George Utah, where she was always the life of the party. She especially enjoyed working alongside Mont Humphries who she considered one of her closest friends.
Most of all Tamra loved her children, grand children and her husband Jack of 48 years and will miss them dearly!
Tamra’s catch phrase throughout her life was “have a nice day and smile all the way” and loved anything that was bright and sparkly. She was always thinking of others and had the innate ability to make others feel comfortable around her.
Instead of flowers Tamra has requested that you provide an act of kindness for someone in need.
Thank you to the staff at Intermountain Healthcare and Rocky Mountain Healthcare who assisted with her care. Specifically we would like to thank her nurse Julie and CNA Sally who took such good care of her during the end of her earthly life.
Up to date information for friends and family of Tamra Tapp
1/12/09
About a month ago Tamra had a recurrence of some back pain which she has had on and off for years. She had some physical therapy done but it had little effect. Over the following weeks she was very tired and sleepy. The pain had progressed over time and so she had Misty take her into the St George hospital on December 31 to get at CT scan to see if the liver was the issue of her pain. The nurses at the hospital sent her home and said they would send the scans to the doctors for review.
The doctors called on the January 5th to check on here pain and suggested that she come in for a biopsy her liver on the January 6th. She had this done and had to wait until January 8th for the results. Upon receiving the results of the biopsy the family doctor suggested we meet a hospital oncologist because he had concerns about what he was seeing on the CT scan and what showed up in the biopsy results.
An appointment was set up with the Oncologist today at the Huntsman Cancer wing here in St George. Without knowing fully all the medical lingo here is what we learned today. Apparently as some point (nobody knows exactly when) a cancer started at the bottom head of her pancreas. It has traveled from it starting point to just outside the pancreas and has since spread to the liver. Unfortunately there is not a specific treatment for where this cancer started. This is not to say that there are not treatments that can be done because there are but there is no chance of a complete cure.
Tamra has decided on a course of treatment as suggested by the oncologist. Her pain is being managed at the moment and will be modified as needed. It is her and our wish that she be kept pain free even at the cost maybe losing a few months of her life. We will be exploring all treatments as some may work and others may not. We all have agreed on this course and just want what is best for Tamra.
As her treatments and her condition changes I hope either myself, Bart, Misty or Shane will update you all with any new information. Jack is obviously very distressed by this news and I would hope you would all keep him in your prayers as well as he loves Tamra dearly!
On a personal note I would like to ask one favor of all of you. We are creating this blog mainly for Tamra to be able to log in and read messages from her loved ones and be able to send her feelings back to them when she is feeling up to it. So if you could, please do not use this board to leave messages for other family members. Misty and I have found many of our relatives on Face book and love catching up with them there. And just so you know this is also one of Tamra’s biggest wishes as she expressed to us today. She has always wanted the family to stay together and to keep in touch!
Finally, my thanks to all my family for making a bad situation bearable. To my older brother Bart and his wife Pennie. Thank you for being the strong ones and helping organize all that you have. To my little brother Shane and his wife Jamie. Thank you for taking such good care of both Tamra and Jack now and for being there for them over the years while Bart and I have been in Salt Lake. Also thank you to my little sister Misty and her husband Doug for always doing what you can to do help and helping Tamra and Jack whenever they needed you. I love you all!
Chet
1 comment:
Dear Chet,
I remember when Don was so ill he used to hallucinate because of the lack of oxygen and the high co2 levels. It scared him to death because he really thought his thoughts were real. It was very difficult. Hang in there. I love all of you for what you are doing for your mom. I love her too. I wish I could be more help.
Love, Aunt Rose
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